All was going smoothly, until I went to grab the turkey out of the fridge at 10:00 a.m. That's when I stared down in utter disbelief and had a minor Thanksgiving meltdown. It was a frozen block of turkey-ice.
So, with this cooking-centric holiday only a few days away, I'm here to share with you what your average cookbook will not: how to actually pull off a successful Thanksgiving turkey dinner, beginning with the first ingredient: one very frozen turkey.
Chronological steps to take, upon realizing your turkey is frozen solid on Thanksgiving morning:
- Panic. This will probably occur naturally.
- Place phone call to culinary-talented boyfriend (or friend or family member) hyperventilating, eyes welling up in tears. "Please help me, what do I do?!"
- Deep breaths. "You will not ruin Thanksgiving dinner," they say. Take this person's reassuring and sound advice, and begin defrosting the turkey in a clean kitchen sink under running lukewarm tap water.
- Be patient. For the next 1 ½ hours, (I suggest wearing an apron and popping in a good CD), slowly massage the turkey to defrost. Make sure water pours into the cavity and that it stays lukewarm. Hot water will start cooking the turkey, which is bad.
- Slowly work open the cavity.
- Have vegetarian sibling, who is in charge of cooking side dishes, take photograph of you in utter horror. Brace yourself. You’re about to remove the neck and giblets from inside the turkey cavity.
- Scream and shriek together when you remove the turkey neck from the cavity. Do a “that was so icky” dance around the kitchen.
- Follow Ina Garten’s recipe for the perfect roasted turkey (below). She's a miracle worker in the kitchen and I find that her recipes are always straight-forward and give you amazingly precise results.
Courtesy of Ina Garten's cookbook, Barefoot Contessa, Parties!
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 fresh turkey (10-12 pounds)
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 large bunch fresh thyme
1 whole lemon, halved
1 Spanish onion, quartered
1 head garlic, halved crosswise
Method:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
- Melt the butter in a small saucepan. Add the zest and juice of the lemon and 1 teaspoon of thyme leaves to the butter mixture. Set aside.
- Take the giblets out of the turkey and wash the turkey inside and out. Remove any leftover fat and leftover pinfeathers and pat the outside dry.
- Place the turkey in a large roasting pan. Liberally salt and pepper the inside of the turkey cavity. Stuff the cavity with the bunch of thyme, halved lemon, quartered onion, and the garlic.
- Brush the outside of the turkey with the butter mixture and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Tie the legs together with string and tuck the wing tips under the body of the turkey.
- Roast the turkey about 2 ½ hours, or until the juices run clear when you cut between the leg and thigh. Remove the turkey to a cutting board and cover with aluminum foil; let rest for 20 minutes.
- Slice that turkey and serve!
Best wishes for a happy holiday, and good luck with your culinary adventures!